Check out Grumpy's IBin Laughin Humour Page

To read past columns visit The Grumpy Files

Biscuits are Beaut, Cookies are Foreign

Over the years this old goat has had the pleasure to sup tea with some very famous people - congrats on 50 years as Queen, Liz! - and apart from my stimulating conversation and wonderful sense of subtlety there is one thing they all enjoy about the encounters. My biscuits.

Yup, I'm a bit of a dab-hand at bikkie making and one would suggest that the peanut brownies are the best ever produced.

Biscuit-making is a joyous tradition in Australia and we have had some utterly scrumptious ones over the years - even from commercial manufacturers.

Sadly, our bikkie bakeries have in recent years become cookie cookeries as more and more of our yummy treats are swallowed up by ravenous overseas companies who want to take a slice of our market.

One of the biggest casualties was Arnotts and I have to say that US-ownership and its shutting of local manufacturing mean these gnarled claws go to grab them less often off the shelves at the shop.

I always look now for the Australian brands - and bloody hard to find they are - however there's one that can be picked easily.

Old Dickie Smith, he of electrical stores and flying-around-the-world-in-a-chopper fame, is always a safe way to go.

His brand of Aussie products fair jump off the shelves and into the trolley because who on Earth could mistake that hairstyle or those glasses.

Still, it seems that despite the obvious Dick Smith branding on the packaging, the Cookie Crunchers at Arnotts got peed off that our Dick had the temerity to call his line of chocolate-covered bikkies Temptin'.

And in fact the biscuit-bullying brutes from Arnotts took our hero to court because the way "temptin’" was used on the pack was allegedly similar to Tim Tam and therefore was a trade mark infringement.

Hello. Earth to corporate tossers. Just what sort of a packet of hands-in-the-undies twerps are you?

Once again it is a case of giant foreign corporation trying to run rough-shod over local people - just because they have the money to do so.

Well, I know what I'm going to do. No more American Arnotts for this set of false teeth ... I'm going for the little Aussie guy.

It's a Grumpy boycott and even if it means the personal sacrifice of giving up that line of bikkies that I won't mention because it might infringe their poxy trademark, then so be it.

Mind you, the local brands do look very nice.

Temptin' aren't they?

Grumpy Old Coot has a warped view of life, check him out

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com