Check out Grumpy's IBin Laughin Humour Page

To read past columns visit The Grumpy Files

Desperation raises the R-word again

Politicians just can't help themselves. They take advantage of the fact that they make the laws to better their own conditions and push their own agendas no matter what the cost.

Three times in the past couple of weeks the dreaded R-word has reared its ugly, deformed little head again and it has been pushed by pollies and slavishly followed by the media.

If you are in doubt about what the R-word is ... let me tell you. It is an abhorrent social disease that will bring this country to wrack and ruin if it ever comes to be.

Yes, it is republicanism and whenever a politician is in trouble and wants to take people's minds off political heat they drag out the R-word.

The latest R-word user is the deputy leader of the Australian Labour Party, Jenny Macklin, who disgorged the idea recently.

Now if ever there was a group of pollies who wanted to take the spotlight off their own performances it would have to be the Federal ALP at the moment - who are about as useful as used condoms.

A democracy needs a strong opposition to the Government, but to even call that mob opposition is drawing a very long bow indeed.

The Shadow Ministry is exactly that - full of shadows - and so what better way to stop the public peering through the gloom to find them is to mention the R-word.

As regulars to the column will know these ageing braincells love our Queen of Australia. She's a grand influence for good, pretty much keeps out of our affairs except to say "gidday" at Christmas time, reminds us of our British heritage and ... best of all ... she is not a party-political hack.

If people are not happy with her as our marvellous head of state then they can just sod off to America (hi Dubya), North Korea, Iraq (hi Soddem), Indonesia (you are still useless SookandPooty), Malaysia (Mahathir you piece of droppings) and Zimbabwe (up yours Moogabe).

Bloody republicans.

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com