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Happy Birthday East Timor!

From Our Special Correspondent G.O. Coot in Dili.

Well we've just finished one of the biggest parties seen in this region for a very long time as 200,000 East Timorese and one slightly feral Australian celebrated long and hard over the island's birth as world's youngest nation.

There we were waving flags, dancing, singing and laughing our heads off in an unprecedented expression of joy. Me, because I hadn't danced this much since the end of World War 2, and the Timorese because after a quarter of a century of brutal rule by the Indonesians they were finally free.

No doubt many of my fellow partiers would be thinking of the friends and relatives killed by the Indonesians or their militia supporters during the long years of struggle.

More than 200,000 Timorese were murdered, or died from famine and disease, during Jakarta's rule which began in 1975 with an unprovoked invasion of the former Portuguese colony.

When the people of East Timor voted for independence in 1999, the Indonesian army unleashed its militia on the people - an act that led to the deaths of thousands of Timorese and the destruction of some three-quarters of the improverished nation's infrastructure.

Still, to show what terrific people they are the Timorese let Indon president Megawati SookandPooty attend the festivities.

SookandPooty, showing what terrific neighbours the Indons are, brought along six warships filled hundreds of troops. And, in an extra example of their charm and understanding of the niceties of civilised behaviour, even docked the vessels without permission before being ordered out.

Now Jakarta says the naval flotilla was a security force for SookandPooty, but when you consider that ex-US Prez Billy Boy Clinton only had a dozen or so bodyguards then I reckon that it was a subtle message from Indonesia saying: "Look how big our boats are - don't muck around with us."

It really does go to show there are a lot of dollars spent by our northern neighbours making up for their lack of adequately sized appendages.

Mind you, when the ships first docked I thought they were after me for some of my previously less-than-pleasant comments on Indonesia.

Anyway, Indons aside, it was a damn good party and I got down to some serious bootie-shaking with a host of world leaders.

As said before, Billy Clinton was there - although I sort of ruined his night when I interrupted his quiet conversation with a nun by slapping him on the back and saying: "Yo, Bill, is that a cigar in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?"

Fair go, I've never seen a chap that size run off at such speed!

Happy Birthday, East Timor!!!!!!!

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com