Check out Grumpy's IBin Laughin Humour Page

To read past columns visit The Grumpy Files

Crims Get Better Homes Than Us Oldies!

Oh to live in Britain. And not for the history - or the weather either for that matter - but more for the comforts offered to scumbag criminals.

You see in the Old Dart it pays to be a crim because Tony Blah's PR-driven government is ever so keen to look as if it is doing the right thing.

How about this. The British prison system is to get a major overhaul where its run-down old jails are going to be replaced with small houses and herb gardens!

Not only that, but they'll get computers in every cell in the little homes away from home and their own private bathrooms.

They have got to be bloody kidding! In my Home for the Ancient and Unloved we have one computer - an old 386 - for 300 residents and only four toilets for the whole place!

I tell you now, if we've had anything slightly stronger than mild curry it can be disastrous!

Mind you, I have got a herb garden sprouting from some seeds someone gave me and it does make a rather fragrant and relaxing tea - but more on that another time.

Fair go, how can the Brits put up with a Prime Monster who is going to give criminals a better lifestyle than most of the population?

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com