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Wait for the first Tram Nazi related death

I reckon Melbourne's Tram Nazis have been watching too many videos about how the brown-shirted goons of Adolf Hitler went about their trade.

Terror and intimidation on our trams and trains seem to be the orders of the day and boy do the little oiks in uniforms love their jobs.

Several weeks ago a young kid fell from a train and the inspectors seemed more concerned with grabbing potential fare evaders than calling an ambulance to find him.

And just over the weekend the terrifying ticketers ignored a woman's complaints about chest pain and were demanding her details.

Fortunately there seems to be one human among them who worked out that possibly she wasn't trying to avoid anything - other than dying of a heart attack brought on by fear - and called an ambulance to whisk her to hospital.

I think someone needs to step in here and use a bit of Tram Nazi-like persuasion on those who are clearly creating a danger on our tramlines.

The Tram Nazis should be told - as should M>Tram the company running the service (and I use that word exceedingly loosely) - that a tram/train fare is not worth risking peoples' lives over.

Maybe I should become the caring-sharing face of Tram Nazis - what do you reckon? Mind you, I've forgotten the words to Deutchland Uber Alles and the Horst Wessel Song ...

Or maybe I could just devote my life to buying a daily ticket and then travelling incognito around the system making the lives of the Tram Nazis as difficult as possible.

"Do you have a ticket?" I'd be asked.

"I do," would be the reply.

"Show us," I'd be told.

"Up your ******* you ill-mannered punce," would be my nicely suggestive response.

"What's your name?"

"I'Man Overladen Bin."

"You're in trouble you horrid little man."

"I may be skinny and horrid, dorko, but at least I can hold my head high when asked what my profession is. You guys rate behind pimps, drug dealers and parking inspectors!"

In fact everyone should do the same. Buy a ticket and then make the miserable lives of these would-be heroes even more unpleasant by giving them the run around.

Gotta go, I hear a tram coming!

Grumpy Old Coot has a warped view of life, check him out

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