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Hell Hath No Fury Like a Truckie Scorned

Oh it's good to be back in the old hot seat. In case you've been wondering I've been dawdling about the countryside in the old pink Morris Minor taking in the sights of the marvellous Murray River.

Yup, a holiday was needed and - despite all the goings-on in the world it was relaxation time for this old chappie.

As you get to my age of near-petrification you do need to take your foot off the accelerator of life and take a bit of time out to keep to the speed limits your body increasingly imposes on you.

Which reminds me. One of the buggas about getting back to the office after a long break is the amount of email/spam/whatever that has been building up in the computer system.

One of my most excellent welcome-back messages was from a truckie who was most put-out by some of my old descriptions of his colleagues in previous columns.

Now while tootling around in the Morris at the speed limits within New South Wales and Victoria I was on many occasions almost flattened by chaps driving monstrous trucks doing at least 20 kilometres over the legal speed.

I was pedalling as fast as my thin-but-beautifully-formed legs would go, but even so these swines were whooshing past faster than projectile vomit at a students' bash.

You may be wondering why I'm on this subject - when there are such marvellous things to write about as anti-terrorism raids across the country, Indons telling us about human rights (hah!) and a possible election in Victoria - but this is the reason.

This truckie's email had me baffled. By the way his initials are Peter Y. Anyway Peter was upset that I have in the past slagged off his mates for roaring around the nation's roads like maniacs when really he reckons it's only a couple of them who do a little over the limit.

To quote: "What? You see a couple of truck drivers speeding and that gives you the right to say we are all the same?".

I was, however, confused by some parts of his message - it must have been in truckie talk.

Perhaps Peter Y you could explain to me what "Get a life you wanker" means. And what on earth is a "cock head"?

Now while Peter's use of English is bold, I think his maths may need a bit of remedial work. After all ... a couple means two and so he is under the impression that only two truckies throughout this fair and dry land of ours break the speed laws and endanger the lives of all road users.

Maybe if he said two a millisecond he'd be slightly less out of touch.

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com