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No Way to Norway!

Now, I may be wrong on this (unlikely though it may be) but isn't the little European nation - that is branding us such terrible types for not letting illegal immigrants invade our shores - the home of the Vikings?

Yup, hundreds of years ago the bearded brutes from Norway set off in their dragon boats, cow horns stuck to their helmets, and went about popping up (unwanted) in other people's lands.

They'd hop off the boats, do a bit of pillaging, burning and raping, and then sail away to see where else they could create mayhem.

Their leaders had colourful names like Erik the Red, Erik the Blue, Erik the Slightly Mauve and Erik the I Want to Be Red, But I'd Clash With My Furs.

Seems the Norwegian captain of the MV Tampa has got a bit caught up in his history and reckons he should be allowed to just ignore lawful requests to stay out of Australia's waters.

The bloody cheek of the man. Here he is, belonging to a nation of some 4 million Europeans - who still want to kill whales - telling us what we can do in our own land.

If the subtle appearance of SAS troops on his deck doesn't let him know we are serious, then Erik the Tampa-rer has let his cow horns slip a bit.

The latest reports say the Norwegians are thinking of a trade embargo. Oooooh. Big scary threat. I can do without pickled herring, so - in the words of the great bard - sod off back to your frozen wastes and the fjords of SlartyBartFast!

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com