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Wacko Jacko turns to Grumpy...
 Wacko
Jacko's latest photo
Ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring. Ring,
ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring. Ring, Ring, ring, ring. Ring,
ring, ring.ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring...
“Hello?”
“Grumpy?”
My mind froze I recognized the falsetto voice, but couldn’t
quite pin down the face.
“Grumpy? It’s me Michael … Jackson.”
Oho, I was right that I couldn’t pin down the face,
but neither could his doctors!
“Er, Wacko … what are you calling me for?”
“Well Grumpy, you’re very cute for an old person
you know … I need some advice.”
“On what?”
“Well, I’m in a spot of bother and you are a world-renowned
troubleshooter.”
“True, Wacko, but I have to believe in what I’m
saying and I’m not sure I can help you.”
“Well, I know it looks bad, but I’m innocent –
they forced me to do it.”
“Oh come off it Wacko, you’re a middle-aged man
(and I use that gender very loosely) so how can young boys
force you to do anything?”
“I’m so misunderstood, I just want them to have
a good time at my Neverland.”
“What do you mean by good time?”
“Oh, lots of cuddles and hugs, lots of expensive presents
to them and their parents, and good night kisses.”
Something told me that I didn’t want to listen to any
more of this glass-breakingly-pitched squeak that tried to
defend the intolerable and unforgiveable.
“By the way Wacko, if you go to jail what are you going
to do?”
“Well, Grumpy, I’m looking forward to the showers.
Although, if my face starts to run I wonder who will fix it?”
“I’ve got just the man, Wacko, his name is Chopper
Read and he is a dab hand at altering people’s appearances!
And listen, why don’t you try a new career when you get
out … I mean your songs are very out-of-date”
“You are cruel Grumpy, but what are you suggesting?”
“How about becoming a Catholic priest – I think
you’ve got the qualifications.”
If there is something that has really got up your nose,
let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com
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