|
Check
out Grumpy's IBin Laughin Humour Page
To read past columns
visit The Grumpy Files
A Weird and Wacky World
Gee ... we live in a funny world. No matter how serious things
are with wars, famine, diseases and TV reality shows, there
is always something around to amuse those of us with dodgy
senses of humour.
Great Ball of China
Now first off lets have a look at a move by Chinese authorities
to help stem the tide of SARS sweeping through the land of
the Great Wall.
Finally, after however many thousands of years of civilisation,
the Chinese have been asked to stop spitting.
Yup, mark that down in the calendar as a historic date. 2003
- the Year of No Hoicking.
And so they bloody should - it is a disgusting habit and
should anyone decide to dribble their green-slimy stuff on
a street next to me they cop a mouthful ... so to speak.
**********
They Appeared by Magic
Passing right along we have the tale of an English forklift
driver who decided to make a bit of money on the side by stealing
just-printed pages from the latest Harry Potter novel.
It seems he found them in the carpark of the printing works
he was employed at and decided to sell them to one of those
highly moral and ethical UK tabloid papers.
Well, he's off to court - not by Nimbus 2000 either! - and
you'd expect, with the evidence against him, he's well and
truly forked.
**********
Dangerous Woman
And how about the case in America where a wife is to appear
in court for aggravated battery after her chemically-sensitive
hubby (aren't we all) accused her of trying to kill him by
burning incense, using air fresheners and dousing herself
with perfume.
I have to say that my fifth wife tried the same thing - sort
of. She sprayed herself with perfume and danced the Seven
Veils - I think she was trying to give me a heart attack!
**********
Always One Step Further in the NT
Now closer to home we have a serious situation in the Northern
Territory where concerns about terrorism are sky high.
So much so that caterers have been banned from providing
tax-payer funded kebabs to the porky pollies.
Apparently the instruments of death strike fear into the
cholesterol-jammed hearts of the Mambas of Parliament and
the poor dears are even a bit suspect about toothpicks!
**********
Well that's about it for this old geezer - I'm off to have
a bottle of cough mixture in a kerosine spa. Ah the luxuries
of being old in this great country of ours.
Now rack off.
Grumpy
Old Coot has a warped view of life, check him out
If there is something that has really got up your nose,
let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com
|
