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Restroom Philosophy

This is American in origin, but the philosophy is universal . . . . .

 

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.

-- Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

Beauty is only a light switch away.

-- Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.

I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.

-- Houghton Library, Harvard University, Cambridge,Massachusetts.

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.

-- Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C.

If Bush were captain of the Titanic, he'd say we were stopping for ice.

-- Smoky Joe's, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"

-- Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia.

God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?

-- The Irish Times, Washington, D.C.

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.

-- Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Descartes said: "To do is to be." Voltaire said: "To be is to do." Frank Sinatra, however, said: "Do Be Do Be Doo"

-- Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats, Scottsdale, Arizona.

At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.

-- Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

-- Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, Arizona.

Make love, not war. Better still, do both, get married!

-- Men's restroom, Barnes & Noble, Irvine California

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.

-- Men's restroom, Arby's, Miami, Florida

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tyres or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.

-- Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Texas.

JESUS SAVES! But wouldn't it be better if He had invested?

-- Men's restroom, American University, Washington, D.C.

Express Lane: Five beers or less.

-- Sign over urinal, Ed Debevic's, Phoenix, AZ.

You're too good for him.

-- Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

No wonder you always go home alone.

-- Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA.

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