Darwin Awards - Runners Up (2)

Did I say that ???

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a line-up. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, Give me all your money or I'll shoot. The man shouted, that's not what I said.

Are we communicating ??

A man spoke frantically into the phone, My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart. Is this her first child? the doctor asked. No the man shouted, This is her husband.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer

In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (helllllllooooooooo)

The Grand Finale . . . .

This is a true story. Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22-ft. Bayliner to perform. It wouldn't get on a plane at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every manoeuvre, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted over to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working order. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. (REMEMBER, THIS IS TRUE) . Under the boat,still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.