Blade Trinity

Review by Clint Morris

Ever been to a concert and walked away at the end of the night more impressed with the support act than the headliner?

Well, that’s how one’s going to feel after watching the latest – presumably, final – entry in the Blade series.

And as much as you might’ve hoped to see more of that support act and less of the puffed up, lackadaisical headline act, the studio’s got their bank resting on the chap whose name is top of the marquee, so there’s no chance the back-up gig was ever going to get more time in the spotlight.

Not this time anyway.

For those who don’t frequent their local comic-book store, “Blade” is a character from a Marvel series, a do-gooder vampire who patrols the streets looking for ‘familiars’ – or ‘bad dudes’ – to dust. On his missions, he’s assisted by his constant senior Whistler.

Wesley Snipes returns to the title role in Blade Trinity, but this time – and much to the actors disliking, according to the grapevine – he’s joined by a couple of young guns, Jessica Biel and Ryan Reynolds, playing ‘The Nightstalkers’.

You can sum the storyline up for this baby quicker than you can scoff a strap of liquorice: Blade goes up against the biggest, baddest vampire of all – Dracula (Australia’s Dominic Purcell), and assisting him in the mission is Hannibal King (Ryan Reynolds) and Abigail Whistler (Jessica Biel), members of a human vampire group that use their highly developed artillery against the neck suckers of the night, or in this case – since they can get around in the sunlight hours in this franchise – the day. Done.

There have been some terrific comic book adaptations since the first Blade dove into cinemas in 1998, and because of that, writer-director David Goyer’s Blade Trinity really has its work cut out for it. But bottom line: Blade, nor any of its sequels, were never going to be Spider-Man or X-Men.

Not only are the comics they’re based on as dissimilar as cheddar is to tasty, but Blade seems to have been derived for a less demanding, less-hungry-for-spectacle audience. But to the series’ merit, the Blade films aren’t as much a superhero movie as they are horror movies.

But the source material isn’t what’s to fault with this latest sequel. If anything, it’s the combination of the films very ho-hum script, yawnable lead and condescending nature.

Snipes – who gave New Line the finger after they handed all the best lines and moments over to his new co-stars – and his semi-transparent ego are about as enthused and captivating as watching lice jump out of a bag lady’s mop of hair.

The man is plain wooden, delivering his lines like he’s reading it from a teleprompter, and for the most part, playing Blade duller than ever before. In the fight scenes Snipes is at home, in everything else - he’s in trouble.

The script doesn’t offer a lot either. Not only does it have more ups and downs than the economy, but it’s a conventional, by-the-numbers effort that might’ve been better suited to TV’s "Angel" - or something less steep, less anticipated. A little characterisation here and there isn’t too much to ask is it?

Worst of all though is the way the film talks down to the audience. Like we’re all sitting in on a Prep Spelling Bee, it repeatedly likes to tell us what’s going on – despite the fact we can clearly follow it ourselves without too much trouble. Combined with the ominous dialogue, it does get mildly impertinent after a while.

There are a couple of shining elements in this latest blockbuster though. Both Jessica Biel and Ryan Reynolds are a delight. She, hotter than a just zapped Pizza Pocket, and he, funnier than the finest clown, prove they’re quite the action heroine and hero, respectively.

The film doesn’t have a lot of great moments, but the ones it does have near always features the two Nightstalkers. In fact, when they’re off-screen – particularly the amusing Reynolds – the movie takes a dip.

Director David Goyer – who wrote all three films–, proves he’s quite the visual wiz too. He structures the fight scenes with thought and imagination, and almost entirely chooses cheap and effective camera tricks over the expensive and overblown. From the spiffy opening credits to the last half’s final bout, everything looks slicker than freshly ironed boxers.

If New Line are going to invest in another Blade adventure, here’s hoping they leave snooty Snipes out in the rain, and shelter Reynolds and Biel in their own spin-off. That’s sure to have more bite.

2.5 out of 5

Blade Trinity
Australian release: Sunday December 26th
Cast: Wesley Snipes, Jessica Biel, Ryan Reynolds, Kris Kristofferson, Parker Posey, Dominic Purcell, Triple H, John Michael Higgins, James Remar, Eric Bogosian, Natasha Lyonne.
Director: David S. Goyer.
Website: Click here.

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