Catwoman

Review by Clint Morris

As Halle Berry's character says in the film, cats don't come when they're asked - only when they want to.

The same goes for Warner's Catwoman feature, we wanted it 10 years ago, with Michelle Pfeiffer reprising her role from Batman Returns - she was the best thing in it - slinky, sexy, and as snug as socks in shoes.

What do we get instead? A belated blunder, which shares nothing in common with the origins of the character.

The new Catwoman is not set in Gotham City, bares no semblance to the franchise Mrs Kitty cut her teeth in and worst of all, Michelle Pfeiffer is nowhere to be seen.

The question moviegoers will be asking themselves is why?

There's no clear cut answer to the question, but one gets the suspicion that they actually built a film around Halle Berry first and a Catwoman template second.

And whilst berry fans are likely going to welcome the gorgeous actress trudging about in leathers spitting smart-arsey quips, comic fans are going to be up in arms.

Granted, if this weren't Catwoman and just some no-name super heroine flick it might be easier to digest. The visuals are quite cool, Berry looks a treat and there are some well choreographed scenes. But this is supposed to be the beloved feline from the Batman comics, and for all intents and purposes, there's no likeness at all.

Berry plays Patience Phillipps (not Selina Kyle, the 'Catwoman' Pfeiffer played), an awkward, but good-natured cosmetics company employee, working under the dictatorial rule of George Hedare (Lambert Wilson) and his aging supermodel wife, Laurel (Sharon Stone).

Patience overhears an employee saying that there's something wrong with the company's new anti-aging skin cream and is killed by Laurel's thugs as a result.

A horde of cats plunge on the frumpy citysider, give her a good lickin' and meow to the moon, and suddenly she's alive again.

Only now, she's got a penchant for cream, lands on her feet every time and suddenly feels the desire to cut her long locks and trade her dresses for skin-tight prostitute-esque leather. Enter, Catwoman…or at least, that's who we're supposed to believe she is.

There's not a real lot to like about this adaptation of the comic. Heck, if it had half a plot and some decent dialogue, that would be something - but it doesn't even have that.

Next, the on-screen match of Patience to local cop, Tom Lone (Benjamin Bratt) feels nothing but forced, and director Pitof is seemingly aiming to make nothing more than an MTV video clip, not a solid superhero flick.

And what comic fans will be steaming about is that Catwoman is a goodie two-shoes. In the comics, she's more a villain - or at least a goodie with villainous qualities - than anything else. Did anyone involved in this production actually read the source material?

If this reviewer were a moggie he'd pounce on over to the studio and scratch the execs who greenlighted this shambles eyes out.

1 out of 5

Catwoman
Australian release: Thursday September 16th
Cast: Halle Berry, Sharon Stone, Benjamin Bratt, Lambert Wilson, Frances Conroy.
Director: Jean-Christophe 'Pitof' Comar.
Website: Click here.