Cellular

Review by Clint Morris

Have you heard about the great video that New Line have put together for their staff Christmas Party?

It's got Robert Shaye, founder of the company, hamming it up, his sister Lin doing a bit too, Noah Emmerich, brother of studio producer, Toby Emmerich, strutting his stuff in a couple of scenes, studio-fave Jessica Biel doing a five minute 'hi and bye' to the camera, and even an impromptu plug for the ‘Lord of the Rings’ series that the studio miss so much.

What? It's not an Xmas reel for the staff? It's a movie!?! Surely this is a joke?

A joke Cellular most certainly is – albeit an unpremeditated barrel-of-laughs at that. From the wanton New Line back catalogue product placement to the continuous staff cameos, this is studio self-centredness at its best.

Or worst.

It turns what could've been an okay movie into an absolute laughing stock that embarrasses everyone involved.

The trailer and early advertising material looked and sounded promising: A kid (Chris Evans, best known for his role in the satirical Not Another Teen Movie and soon to be seen as Johnny Storm in the highly anticipated Fantastic Four movie) receives a call on his cell phone from a stranger.

She (Kim Basinger) is being held hostage by some rotten kidnappers. She's dialled any random number by hotwiring a smashed phone, hoping the person on the other line will help her out and get in touch with police. He calls her bluff, but ultimately discovers she's for real and sets out to play involuntary hero.

It's a real shame that Cellular didn't work out. The idea is fresh and imaginative and the casting is well done. Basinger you can imagine in the role, and newcomer Chris Evans does seem to have a bit of something too.

Unfortunately this movie doesn't know what to do with him, and by mid-way through the flick he looks as lost as E.T in California. And poor William H.Macy, how did he get roped into starring in this? Surely his two-bit role as an affable officer looked better on paper, because he's as underused as an analog receiver.

Even if Cellular knew whether it was a thriller, a drama, or even a light-comedy, it might have be able to withstand the gratuitous studio plugs, but it doesn't know what it is, and that only pushes the raw needle into cinemagoers shoulders even more.

Someone should've left this baby off-the-hook...

1.5 out of 5

Cellular
Australian release: Thursday February 10th, 2005
Cast: Chris Evans, Kim Basinger, William H.Macy, Jason Statham, Eric Christian Olsen, Jessica Biel, Richard Burgi.
Website: Click here.

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