Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

Review by Clint Morris

Whilst on the promotional trail for his latest film, Loves Brother, Australian actor Adam Garcia mentioned his explicable dislike for playing what he calls the ‘bimbo’ role – i.e. the young stud with his shirt off, and doing little else – in some of the Hollywood flicks he’s made.

He didn’t name any names, but after checking out his rather embarrassing turn in the Disney howler Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, it’s pretty clear what one of those reprehensible CV additions is.

From the moment Garcia appears on screen – as a grungy looking Brit-esque rocker with a grog problem – you can’t help but agree that the aforesaid Aussie flick – as average a movie it is – is a much more tempting turn than what he’s been given to do here.

Headlined by Disney regular, Lindsay Lohan, the young starlet who single-handedly carried both the recent remakes of The Parent Trap and Freaky Friday, Drama Queen is based on the book by Dyan Sheldon.

Not that you’ll see anything on screen that suggests anything was put on paper before the camera started rolling, the movie tells the story of a your archetypal try-hard teenager and her constant charge to be liked.

Lola (Lohan) is a self-centred little princess who’s forced to move with her mother to Jersey from her beloved NYC. On her first day of school she realises she’s got some bitchy rivals – and little by little starts to try and impress them with her incessant tales.

When she actually does have a big event happen to her - a night-out with her favourite rocker (enter Garcia) - no one believes her. Ultimately, someone has to look inside herself and realise it ain’t that important to impress cows.

Unlike her previous films, Drama Queen could be seen as merely a vehicle for Lohan to show off her undiscovered singing and dancing talents. Disney is obviously rewarding her for helping them regain their crowd as the box office kings of family entertainment.

And whilst Lohan proves she’s just as good a musician and bopper as she is an actress, sadly there’s little else to recommend about her first gimmick-less feature.

Where’s the body switching, xeroxed twin element when a film so badly needs it?

Drama Queen is empty. There are hardly any laughs, any sense of reality, nor get-up-and-go and most of all, Lohan’s character, unlike her previous films, isn’t really that amiable.

She’s a spoilt little demon that you can’t give two hoots about. Now surely a starting point would have been carving a cool, likeable character for the headliner?

If you must check out Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, come in about 70 minutes in and catch the song and dance number at the end, it’s a bit of a saving grace for an otherwise inadequate mouse factory offering.

Oh, and note to Garcia: get a new U.S agent.

2 out of 5

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
Australian release: Thursday April 8th
Cast: Lindsay Lohan, Adam Garcia, Glenne Headly, Alison Pill, Eli Marienthal, Carol Kane.
Director: Sara Sugarman.
Website: Click here.

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