Crossroads

Review by Clint Morris

As the 'it' popstar, having top-selling albums, singles, and sell out concerts can often be the beginning of everything. Next comes the sponsorship deals, endorsement contract, award show gigs and merchandising tie-ins.

Britney Spears has all this and more - fame, fortune and her face on a lunchbox. But just when one wonders whether Britney's mug could be any more in your face, she unleashes her first feature film…

Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to the Apocalypse.

We expect little from Spears movie debut, and that's exactly what we get. It's in essence one big icky, humdrum chick flick sprinkled in warm fuzzy moments, flawless boys, Britney in her undies and naturally, Britney belting out the hits. Every 13-year-old girl's dream movie.

Lucy (Spears) is itching to escape the clutches of her overprotective father (Dan Aykroyd) and finds the answer in a road trip with two former best friends. The three had drifted apart during later school years - Mimi (Taryn Manning) becoming pregnant in her senior year, Kit (Zoe Saldana) finding status and a fiancé, and Lucy immersed in her studies.

Each has her own reason for hitting the road with drifter/guitar journeyman Ben (Anson Mount) at the wheel. Mimi wants to enter a Los Angeles contest for a recording contract, Kit needs to check up on her future husband, and Lucy wants to see her estranged mother (Kim Cattrall).

Cliché #561 is the 'run out of money' scenario. Instead of the near-obligatory raising-money-at-strip-club scene, we have a karaoke contest. This ultimately is the turning point for our budding little popstress and she sets her sights high. In turn, she gets it all, the spotlight, the boy and that one special night, oh and the resolution of their separate dilemmas.

Yep all the big issues are tackled here, to the tune of an NSYNC song in the background that is.

As a journalist I have to sit through many movies each week - but none as much a chore as this one. Within 20 minutes of this incongruous baloney, I knew I'd stumbled upon a potential Razzie. Even my lowest expectations - half good storyline and some okay Britney dance numbers - weren't even met. Britney's ok, passable, especially when compared to her co-stars. But, to put it bluntly, Taryn Manning and Zoe Saldana are just plain agonizing to watch. They're consistently annoying, whining girlie girls - enough to make you stick that soda straw through your left ear.

But, at the end of the day, it's the music we have come to see. Britney has three main song numbers in the film; yet all of them sound flat and uninspired, consequentially leading this journalist to again ask… Why is this girl the biggest popstar in the world?

* ½ a star for the multiple 'Britney in her panties' shots.

½ out of 5

Crossroads
Australian release: Thursday 18th April
Cast: Britney Spears, Zoe Saldana, Taryn Manning, Anson Mount, Dan Aykroyd, Kim Cattrall, Justin Long.
Website: Click here

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