D-Tox
Review by Clint Morris
 A
less-macho Sylvester Stallone, the finest support cast this
side of a Robert Altman film, cinematography by Oscar winner
Dean Semler, an exquisite icy backdrop, snazzy looking one-sheeter
and a director crowned 1996's king of the slasher genre.
This could be very well have been the best film of Stallone's
long career, but if the two-year release delay hasn't already
tipped you off, this ain't no Rocky. Actually, this isn't
even Rocky 5. And that's saying something.
Directed by Jim Gillespie (I Know What you Did Last Summer),
D-Tox has a plot so thin it was probably scribbled on the
back of a matchbox. An alcoholic cop (Stallone) has a co-worker
and girlfriend murdered by the same serial killer, and in
an attempt to get himself back in order joins up for a rehab
programme run in the isolated snowy alps. Surprise, surprise,
the killer has also followed him to the mini-Alcatraz and
begins to hunt his fellow patients down one by one.
D-Tox is unintentionally one of the funniest films in a long
time. The plot is so hole-ridden you could pour tequila down
it, and the lines are so unbearably cheesy one wonders whether
Carrot Top or Pauly Shore snuck into the screenwriter's office
in lunchtime and amended the script. Take this little beauty
for example - your token Stallone quip, "Eye see you,
now see this!" blurted as the action veteran throws the
film's villain around the room.
It appears that this film has been cut significantly (doesn't
say much when the film only goes for 96 minutes anyway) because
the pieces just don't fit together. Even some of the supporting
characters are reduced to cameo-size parts, when some of them
- namely Robert Patrick and Sean Patrick Flannery - could
have been the film's saving grace.
It's quite sad that Stallone - looking every bit his 50-plus
age - has been condensed to drivel like this. A few years
back he made his comeback with an almost Oscar-worthy performance
in "Copland", and even though most of his other
recent films - Driven, Daylight, Cliffhanger, The Specialist
- borderline on the mediocre, they're much more entertaining
and lively than this dull vehicle.
The outsized ensemble of supporting players have also checked
themselves into the wrong detox centre. Superior performers
like Tom Berenger, Robert Patrick, Kris Kristofferson, Sean
Patrick Flannery and Jeffrey Wright - are abridged to little
more than background fodder, with only a handful of lines
each, and despicable spittings of that.
Director Jim Gillespie scored big a few years back with teen
screamer I Know what you did Last Summer, but the only
one screaming this time is his production team when they view
the finished result. To be honest, a film like D-Tox will
only lead you to drink.
1 out of 5
D-Tox
Australian release: Commences Thursday January 31st
Cast: Stars Sylvester Stallone, Tom Berenger, Charles S.Dutton,
Sean Patrick Flannery, Robert Patrick, Dina Meyer, Polly Walker,
Robert Prosky, Courtney B.Vance, Jeffrey Wright, Kris Kristofferson,
Christopher Fulford.
Director: Jim Gillespie
Website: Click
here
Brought to you by MovieHole
|
