Fat Albert
Review by Clint Morris
Either Dr William H. Cosby Jr’s just realised he’s
down to his last million or FOX have discovered a prospect
in the original contract where it reads "remake/sequel",
because the renowned comic of the seventies and eighties would
never have sold his soul to the ruby guy with the fork like
his namesake here has.
Despite Cosby aiding to turn one of the toonworld’s
utmost reminiscences into one of cinema’s most projected
turkeys, he does – not many do - walk away with some
credibility.
In a rather poignant cameo as himself, he gets to utter the
great, consequential, words [to Albert]: “If you stay
out here, you’re only going to turn into celluloid dust”.
Couldn’t have said it better.
Initially suggested a few years back but falling apart when
Cosby had a riff with director Forest Whitaker, Fat Albert,
the movie, is about a hundred times skinner in uniqueness
and entertainment value as its titular character.
What could’ve been a mildly amusing live-action romp,
heck, even a welcome animated feature, is a train of tired
jokes carrying a cargo of waste. It’s watchable, sure,
but only in the same way one can’t look away from a car
crash. Eyes love to check out the damage on offer.
Doris (Kyla Pratt) can’t make any friends at school.
Bingo! Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids climb out of the television
set – leaving the animated world behind – and enter
her world, the live action world, where the big guy sets out
to do what he does best ‘solve other people’s problems’.
Funnily enough, the community aren’t aware of whom Fat
Albert (played by Kenan Thompson) and company are – despite
a huge poster advertising a DVD release of their show on a
shop window, and daily reruns on TV – they just think
they’re a bunch of nitwits ripe for taking the piss.
The storyline is about as stale as biscuits left out of the
tin. The whole "we’re losing our colour, we’re
fading away" tale has been used in more fish-out-of-water
stories than Albert’s got rolls. And the jokes? They’re
corny, outmoded and to a point, aggravating. One more ‘Hey,
hey, hey’ could’ve lead to much distress.
If this is Joel (My Big Fat Greek Wedding) Zwick’s
vision for the film, one wonders what previously attached
director Forest Whitaker had planned. Could it really have
been as ghastly as this? And would his ‘Albert’
(Omar Benson Miller) have been as weak as diet cordial?
Everything about the adored series has been extracted for
cinematic dissipate – except of course, the grand Cosby,
whose cameo and appearance in the film’s final frame
almost make the film worth sticking with – and alas,
it’s going to take a while to get the scent out of the
space.
1.5 out of 5
Fat Albert
Australian release: Thursday 21st of April, 2005
Cast: Kenan Thompson, Kyla Pratt, Jermaine Williams, Aaron
A. Frazier, Keith D. Robinson, Dania Ramirez, Marques B. Houston,
Shedrack Anderson III, Bill Cosby.
Director: Joel Zwick.
Website: Click
here.
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