Final Destination 3 Review by Clint Morris
Once you get on, you can’t get off. And
though it’s ups and downs, unforseen twists and fast pace are
easily endurable; the fact that you’re merely going over
already-well-travelled tracks takes most of the enjoyment out of it.
When
both roller coaster and film go off the rails, you’ll be wishing
someone had bothered to oil and grease the carrier before it moved out
of the gate too.
The first Final Destination (2000)
was a treat. The story of a group of teenagers, who survive a plane
crash, only to be knocked off one-by-one after it anyway (because you
can’t beat death), was well written, imaginative and well juiced
with fun. The sequel, though merely a retread of the first (except for
a fantastic highway car pile up at the start of the film), was also
rather entertaining – if only because we had characters worthy of
investing in. This latest sequel, though encompassing splotches of
imagination, isn’t nearly as good. FD3 is all-too
over-dramatic – why bother playing the scary music and pulsating
boom, when there’s nothing on screen to be scared of yet!
Ridiculously
passé, and filled with characters that aren’t only dull,
but as daft as plywood (‘Oh, so apparently I’m supposed to
die from a firecracker. Well, then, I will just stand around near the
firecracker case…waiting…not running for the hills, like
a normal person would!). How can you invest in them?! Heck, hand us the
nail-gun, I’ll gladly let you off a few rounds in their
direction.
As you’ll have guessed from my sycophantic
opener, the film’s main set piece is a roller coaster. When Wendy
(Mary Elizabeth Winstead) has a premonition that the ride will go off
the rails, killing everyone on it (which are all her school friends),
she freaks and demands off, before it pulls out of the gate.
Conveniently, her friend’s boyfriend (Ryan Merriman), a couple of
ditzy valley girls, some rough nuts and other deviates are also forced
off the ride.
Keeping up?
Just in case the
‘endless’ references to what happened in the first film
don’t tip you off (within ten minutes of the film, our male lead
has done a google and discovered the case of the first film, and
proceeds to retell it - a couple of times), the film then proceeds to
rely on Carbon, with death knocking off each one of the survivors
– our two heroes, of course, are supposed to be last on the list
– based on where they would’ve been sitting had they been
on the doomed coaster.
OK, so young audiences are going to
love the ghastly death sequences, which though far from frightening,
are as funny as a Tex Avery cartoon. There are some goodies here (the
ditzy chicks in a tanning salon, the muscleman in a gym…). Teens
might also like the film’s final act, which might just be the
most inspired piece of the rather prosaic screenplay. And chances are,
they may even find some of the characters interesting – but
that’s a long shot.
In short, there’s nothing in Final Destination 3
that hasn’t seen before, and done better, in the previous two
films. In fact, with it’s ‘in name only’ connection
to the first two films, and no-name cast, it could easily have been
produced as a DVD premiere (the sad thing is, it was originally
conceived as a 3D film…now that would’ve been a great
gimmick!). Third time around is still light fun, but it’s
definitely not a charm.2.5 out of 5
Final Destination 3
Australian release: 27th April, 2006
Cast: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Ryan Merriman, Kris Lemche, Alexz Johnson, Sam Easton, Jesse Moss, Gina Holden
Director: James Wong
Website:
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