Gabriel Review
by Clint Morris
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After Gregory Widen’s minor-classic The Prophecy,
where fallen angels battle one another until the other’s wings fall
off, most seem to think of strictly unpleasant things when they hear
the name ‘Gabriel’.
And that won’t change after sitting through this abomination.
I’m
all for young Australian filmmakers going out there and giving it their
all, especially when they’ve cooked up an interesting and reasonably
original (writer obviously sat through the entire Prophecy
series before putting pen to paper on this - - the look, the tone, the
thrust of the story is frightening similar) tale and have used whatever
resources they can get their hands on (whether it’s an over-sized fan
or a discarded and torn green screen) to help colour their canvas.
But
maybe points for effort should be scratched from the film critic’s
review bible - and bad films, whether they’ve been made on twenty bucks
or two-hundred million bucks, should merely remain ‘bad films’.
Apparently Sony Pictures offered to pour some more money into this film once they saw an early draft - the only question: Why?
Was Sony in need of something to reach their Australian film quota for the year? Did someone show them an early cut of The Matrix Reloaded
instead? It doesn’t make sense why Sony would snap this baby up…. It’s
not going to appeal to anyone. If anything, it’ll evoke mass walk-outs
(and I hear, at test screenings, it already has).
The story
has something to do with the arch angel Gabriel (Andy Whitfield)
holidaying in purgatory where he’s attempting to replace the dark with
the light and obliterate his nasty former colleagues. And then someone
shoots a guy in slow-motion; a dude in a hood scowls; and the former
host of Australia’s Next Top Model proves once again why cable TV is the only outlet that’ll pay her bills.
Gabriel
is an admirable effort – the effects, though patchy in parts, look OK
and the lead is reasonable enough – but it’s just too languid and
boring to draw the viewer in. Combine its tired snooze-worthy
screenplay with some terribly murky film stock, not to mention some
shocking supporting performances, and you’ve got a film only the
programmers at the Sci-Fi Channel would love.
Two Panadol Entertainment. 1.5 out
of 5 Gabriel
Australian release: 15th November, 2007
Cast: Andy Whitfield, Dwaine Stevenson, Samantha Noble
Director: Shane Abbess
Website: Click
here.
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