Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
Review
by Sean Lynch
While I quite openly despise the current spate of
the "all women are desperate and needy" and "guys that are assholes
that still get the girl" rom-com's which have flooded the market of
late (Sex & The City,
Confessions
of Shopaholic, He's
Just Not That Into You) - you have to accept
there is some merit to them.
Let's face facts - the days of the classic "everyman" rom
com hero are gone.
It's time we stopped pretending.
Nice guys who think of girls feelings (and assume being dependable will
eventually win them some "sexy time") never win.
It's the
arrogant successful dicks (the type we all hate at school or the
office) that girls (whether they admit it openly or secretly) want to
have erotically pummel them in a toilet cubicle.
But when you think about it... that's always been the case.
Hell, even in When
Harry Met Sally, regarded as one of the greatest rom-coms
of all time, Billy Crystal (who most remember as the nice, ugly
"everyman") was in actual fact a selfish sexual predator.
The sensible option, at least to those of us weak willed individuals in
the audience, is for the cute female lead just to choose "a nice guy" -
instead, they force a change into the selfish, animalistic
douche bags.
So it's with that knowledge in mind - Ghost Of Girlfriends Past
at least tells it like it is.
Connor Mead (Matthew McConaughey) is a notorious
photographer who has a bad boy reputation of loving beautiful women and
dumping them when they fall in love with him.
A
reputation which seems to be the one of the main qualities the swag of
sexy gals seem to be drawn to (yet surprised by when they get
dumped???).
In fact, Conner is so overloaded with
women that at one point he has to breakup with three women at the same
time via an online conference call (while his next sex-pal is in the
very same room waiting to be - quite willingly - defiled).
To throw a spanner into the works, his brother Paul (Breckin
Meyer) is about to get married - leaving the incorrigible bachelor Connor the task of trying to
talk Paul out of getting hitched.
However, on the night before the wedding, Connor is visited by three
ghosts who take him back to his relationships past, present and lonely future.
It's a nice little twist to the classic A Christmas Carol
tale (there is even a cute little direct reference towards the end of
the film) which plays out surprisingly well within the realms of the
genre.
Yes, McConaughey's character is a
complete sleazeball... but he's got the built in arrogant qualities the
gals desire on some level (and it's sure as shit easier to teach
"sensitivity" to an oaf, than it is to force "confidence" on a dork...
unless you've seen Patrick Dempsey in Can't
Buy Me Love).
The
alarmingly over-tanned McConaughey is on auto pilot throughout the
entire film, while most others will be distracted by Garner's bulk billed
botoxed lips - however, some stellar supporting cast turns from Michael
Douglas, Emma Stone and Lacey Chabert more than make up for any
inconsistencies.
In fact, it is a surprisingly fun bit of viewing.
So while it's painful having to watch (and in a
way, forced to cheer on) the super attractive guy who lives an amazing
life, only to see him still
end up with everything he ever wanted (and only having to endure less
than a few minutes of mild guilt), there are more than enough laughs
throughout Ghosts of Girlfriends Past to keep this one ticking over.
At
the very least, Ghosts gives the poor "nice guy" suckers who have taken
their gals to a "date movie" in the hopes of getting lucky to at least
pick up a few tips on how to... you know... be a man.
Summer Roberts from The OC said it best... "Confidence Cohen".
3.5
out
of 5
Ghosts of
Girlfriends Past
Australian release: 7th May,
2009
Official
Site: Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
Cast: Matthew McConaughey, Emma
Stone, Jennifer Garner, Michael Douglas
Director: Mark S. Waters
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