Material Girls
Review
by Clint Morris
Long. In Your Face. Off-Putting. Intriguing.
Unique. Yep, Material
Girls
marks the cinematic return of the ‘Duff’ Chin. Only this
time both of Quentin Tarantino’s illegitimate love children are
front-and-centre.
Material eventually comes apart, Material Girls, on
the other hand, comes unstitched about a minute after the opening
credits roll.
Try this aged template on for size: Two
wealthy
sisters (Hilary and Haylie Duff), both heiresses to their family's
cosmetics fortune, are given a wake-up call when a scandal and ensuing
investigation strip them of their wealth. Now, they’re out on
their ass, without a dollar to their name, determined to not only align
their purses against with fresh green, but also get their business
thriving again.
This largely unfunny and rather vacillating
- I
don’t think they quite knew who they were making this film for?
– Mess, directed by Martha Coolidge no less (yep, same Martha
Coolidge who did teen classic Valley Girl!
fame - Oh how hard they can fall!), is no more than an attempt on
famous movie/music moppet Hilary Duff’s behalf to get her sister,
the lesser-known Haylie Duff (her co-star), and mother, Susan Duff (a
producer on the film), a piece of the action. But since when have other
people’s family get togethers been fun for the outsider?
Hilary Duff does have an audience, I can
admit
that – heck, my wife even considers herself a semi fan - but I
dare say they’ll even be yawning through most of this, and like
my wife, mulling over a walkout. Both Duff’s are exceptionally
annoying in this – they do nothing but smile, squeal, giggle, and
pout their lips.
Seems the older that Hilary gets, she loses
both her cuteness and appeal. Her last two couple of films – The Perfect Man
in particular - barely cut muster, Material Girls-
should’ve been squashed on sight. As for the older, Duff –
lets just say she makes up for in chin, what she lacks in talent.
Considering the studio hired three writers
to pen
this thing, you’d think they could’ve come up with
something that wasn’t a blatant insult and excruciating waste of
time for the teenage market its aimed at. In the 80s they were able to
make good girly flicks with loads of topping - like Girls Just Want to Have Fun
and Fame
– so why are they suddenly serving up nothing more than margarita – as
in, its that plain – now?
(And just one more thing, why give
former Star
Trek: The Next Generation
fave Brent Spiner – playing the sinister head of the company
– such a juicy line like “Beam Me Up” – as he
exits an elevator – in a film like this? Again, it’s proof
that the filmmakers are oblivious to the fact that nobody in the
audience is going to be in on the joke. Waste of Spiner. Waste of a
good-line).
0.5 out
of 5
Material
Girls
Australian release: 14th
September, 2006
Cast: Hilary Duff, Haylie Duff, Anjelica
Huston, Brent Spiner, Lukas Haas
Director: Martha Coolidge
Website: Click
here.
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