Max Payne

Review by Sean Lynch

If I were a smart man, and based all my reviews on the possibility of having a quote emblazoned across a movie poster one day - I could just about have the most enjoyable pun-tastic field day with the latest video-game-cum-movie, Max Payne.

Unfortunately... none of them would be remotely positive.

Let's face it, when was the last time you saw : "THIS MOVIE SUCKS DOGS BALLS - Joe Blogs, Movie Buzz Magazine" being proudly displayed at your local theatre?

Exactly!

So statements claiming that watching Mark Wahlberg's latest piece of garbage will inflict Max Pain on the viewers are pointless and serve no purpose what so ever. They won't win me favour with the studio's valuable advertising dollars, they won't get the Wombat's name up in lights - and it sure as hell won't get me any closer to a job that isn't Internet based.

... That said, it is a fun way to pass the time:

"It's PAYNEful to watch"
"It's crap... TO THE MAX"
"Here comes the PAYNE TRAYNE"
"PAYNE in the arse"
"Credibility MAXed out"
"No Gain, Plenty of PAYNE"

"... This movie is shit"

OK... that last one might not work.

Based on the legendary, hard-hitting interactive video game, Max Payne tells the story of a maverick cop (... so I'm guessing this will be a favourite of Sarah Palin then... ) determined to track down those responsible for the brutal murder of his family and partner.

Hell-bent on revenge, his obsessive investigation takes him on a nightmare journey into a dark underworld. As the mystery deepens, Max (Wahlberg) is forced to battle enemies beyond the natural world and face an unthinkable betrayal.

To be honest, there are a few positives to come out of the film (besides yet more affirmation that Mila Kunis has the ability to make me both speechless and pants happy any time she is on screen) most notably, the fact that Max Payne never pretends to be anything other than it is.


On paper - and in movie trailers and posters - Max Payne looks and sounds like it might just be about the coolest movie to hit screens since Sin City. In fact, Payne takes quite a few tips from the Rodriguez hit, with the comic book visuals and melodramatic tone executed excellently.

But it's there that the similarities end.

Most action-loving punters will fork out their hard-earned expecting some cool stunts and some pretty blatant acts of violence. After all, this is a movie about a man wanting revenge, based on a game where the aim is to... well... kill people.

Yet, there just seems to be a total lack of anything slightly exciting happening here. Heck - we join the action three years after the murder of Max's wife... and he's sitting at a desk.

What the hell have you been doing all that time Maxy? It's been three years and you're no closer to finding the killer? Did we miss the first few fun months where you went through and blasted away every scum ball that crossed your path? Is that all it is - a poor lack of timing on our behalf? Too busy collecting your vast array of black turtleneck tees, perhaps?

You kind of get the feeling that Fox Studios (who have had a terrible run this year, thanks largely to their need to take creative control away from the writers and directors and re-cut everything themselves, a la Babylon A.D.) are responsible for the lack of excitement here.

The film is woefully and quite obviously toned down. There are also some glaringly obvious moments throughout the film where you just know a good two or three scenes have been given the snip (with plot points, character motivations and characters themselves just popping up randomly and non-sensically).

Hell - at one point Max has a child referenced all of a sudden in a flashback, despite the fact that in an earlier flashback... of the same flashback... there is no baby to be seen.

It's just a sloppy piece of work all round.

It's a shame too, because there is so much potential with Max Payne. There is a very cool cast assembled (although, it must be said Chris O'Donnell looks like he has been chowing down on nothing but donuts since Batman & Robin), the shooting style is excellent (it almost looks like they have taken frame for frame shots from a comic book) and the plot - although fairly flimsy and non sensical - does give scope for plenty of potential gun battles.

I might have to wait until the "Directors Cut" hits DVD to at least see if a non-censored version delivers the sort of potential that is hinted at.

But as it currently stands - Max Payne is nothing short of PAYNEful.

1.5 out of 5

Max Payne
Australian release: 16th October, 2008
Official Site: Max Payne
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Beau Bridges, Ludacris, Chris O'Donnell
Director: John Moore