National Treasure

Review by Clint Morris

Now here's a mission: Try and find out what school is harbouring a classroom full of eight year olds all on (Uncle) Jerry Bruckheimer's payroll?

They have to be out there somewhere.

Only a fervent youngster with a predilection to see things explode, crash or crumble could be penning for Bruckheimer productions.

Yes, there's three (!) credited for the National Treasure screenplay, but what's the bet that if you sprinkle some lemon juice on the back of their contract, run the blow-dryer over it a couple of times and inspect closely with your unique bifocals, you'll see the names of twenty-seven class 5B students scrawled in invisible ink on the back.

Granted, as much as any critic can harp on one of Bruckheimer's blatantly poorly written but enthusiastic popcorners, it's really just a waste of hot air to do so. After all, anyone paying their fifteen bucks to see one of his films knows exactly what they're getting: 5% storyline, 10% Mark Mancina (or student of…) music, 25% A-listers and 60% explosion/car chase/gunfight.

And again, they are (the pickier girlfriend might not be as much) not going to be let down with his latest big-budget actioner.

Nicolas Cage (Headline-act of previous Bruckheimer hits like Con Air and The Rock) plays Ben Gates, the latest in a long-line of 'Gates' men who're convinced - and spent most of their lives trying to prove it - that a fabbo fortune, the legendary Knights Templar Treasure, rumoured to be the most awesome bounty in human hidden history, is still out there -- somewhere.

At long last, Gates gets his hands on the final clue: a hidden map on the back of the Declaration of Independence. With the assistance of tech whiz-kid (Justin Bartha) and involuntary National Archives conservator Abigail Chase (Diane Kruger), he sets out to find it before the baddies get to there first.

Bruckheimer targets a wider audience with his Indiana Jones meets Tomb Raider meets Enemy of the State adventure. Lighter on blood, significantly slighter when it comes to violence, and set in a world where the magical 'F' world is non-existent, National Treasure swims in the same family-friendly pool as Pirates of the Caribbean.

National Treasure is fun and incontrovertibly so. But it's also one of Bruckheimer's most disappointing couple of hours. Nicolas Cage is great, Diane Kruger looks hotter than oven-baked salami on a pizza and the cinematography is as slick as silk, but there still seems to be something missing here...

It could be the lack of a decent last-half hour (it borrows most of the finale from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade), it could be the fact that the characters haven't been fleshed out well enough or it could be the fact that someone who's made nothing but stinkers (Jon Turtletaub) is calling the shots on it.

Come to think of it, it's probably the permutation of all three.

On the plus side, there's an interesting idea at work here, and if you're not too fussy about watching anything that's as corny as Doritos and as hammy as Babe, you won't walk out of the theatre adorning a look of dissatisfaction.

3.5 out of 5

National Treasure
Australian release: Thursday December 9th
Cast: Nicolas Cage, Diane Kruger, Justin Bartha, Jon Voight, Harvey Keitel, Sean Bean, Christopher Plummer.
Director: Jon Turteltaub.
Website: Click here.

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