While this is an entire movie about Bette Midler and Billy Crystal as old people trying to look after their over-parented grandkids while the parents try to have five seconds alone, there are only a few scenes you really need to know about when it comes to deciding whether this film is worth your while.
For example, in one scene Crystal is hit so hard in the balls he throws up on a small child.
In another scene Crystal is trying to get a small boy to defecate in a public toilet best described as "terrifying" – seriously, there are homeless people actually living in this toilet, just lying on the floor while people walk around them (hello, metaphor for Western Civilisation) – and he does so by sitting on the toilet with the child between his legs singing him a song, only he’s not singing to the child, he's singing to the child's faeces, telling the faeces that while it's nice and safe in the "cave" where it currently lives, it should come out and go swimming in the pool outside.
And then there's the scene where Crystal (who plays a baseball ground announcer who's just been sacked for being too old – says his boss "do you tweet" and he says "I'll make any noise you want me to") lies his way into a job audition at ESPN covering extreme sports, only it's on at the same time as he has to mind one of his small grandchildren.
His solution: take the kid with him. And also to dress up as his idea of a 20-year old, which means sunglasses and a backwards hat.
So while he's totally failing to commentate on skateboarding – it seems his leisurely baseball style doesn't work when the event runs ten seconds – the kid wanders off, finds himself standing on top of a half pipe and ends up pissing all over the half pipe which causes Tony Hawk (this movie's idea of someone the kids will have heard of) to crash.
Do these scenes sound like the kind of thing you’d find funny? If so, then this is certainly some kind of film that you could find yourself sitting in front of.
1 out of 5
Parental Guidance Australian release: 26th December, 2012 Official Site:Parental Guidance Cast: Billy Crystal, Bette Midler, Marisa Tomei, Bailee Madison, Tom Everett Scott, Rhoda Griffis, Dwayne Boyd Director: Andy Fickman
