The Perfect Man
Review by Clint Morris
If you're the type that winces at the all-too-perfect models
littered throughout magazines or has to reach for the sick
bag whilst watching the latest Sandra Bullock in-flight, best
to stay clear of the so-cute-you'll-be-spotting-carrots-in-your-chunder
effort, The Perfect Man.
Heather Locklear's desperate and dateless. Mr Big's without
a woman. Hilary Duff can only attract the school introvert.
Um, yeah right … and next year's Academy Awards belongs
to Mike Myers.
If TV veteran Locklear's name above a cinema marquee isn't
enough to put you off, then the précis may well be:
Jean Hamilton (Locklear) and her two daughters, Holly (Duff)
and seven-year-old Zoe (Aria Wallace), have just moved to
yet another town following yet another of mum's busted romances.
It's there though that Holly meets Ben (Noth), the uncle
of a new friend. He knows everything there is to know about
romance, and before mum can even unpack her toiletries, Holly
and pal are scheming to bring the two olds together - via
the ever so Machiavellian device known as The Internet.
As good as Locklear, Noth, even Duff, can be - Locklear's
always at home as a small screen bee-yatch, Noth was in his
element as the enigmatic slut on 'Sex and the City', and Duff
has a beaming smile that would melt a thousand Wonka bars
- they all play about as authentically as Fairley Arrow in
a kidnap case here. Heck, the spurious Arrow case rings truer
than this too-perfect-to-be-real set-up.
Locklear's too good-looking to be devoid of any after-dark
shenanigans in her life, Duff's too pretty to keep playing
the quiet student who can only make friends with the local
recluse, and Mr Big as an all-round nice guy that's written
the book on romance but sleeps with nothing but a hot-water
bottle every night?
I can swallow an over-sized antibiotic easier than that.
In fairness, those that are going to be spending their well-earned
pocket money seeing the movie want nothing but this. For all
intents and purposes, they'll be satisfied enough too - especially
if it's merely the appeal of Mrs Duff that's pulling them
to the multiplex.
Typical of Duff's film efforts, it's got the cute boys, cute
gals, cute pop music, cute one-liners, schmaltzy virgin apposite
mush, and the forced-but-fuzzy finale. Frankly though, I think
Duff's last effort, Raise Your Voice, might have had
more oomph in it than this intermittently dreary number.
It might be time to stray from the "same old, same old"
Hilary and try something a little more enterprising or a little
meatier. Maybe that can be your excuse for calling long-time
adversary Lindsay Lohan, who's seemingly doing just that.
2 out of 5
The Perfect Man
Australian release: Thursday the 15th of September, 2005
Cast: Hilary Duff, Heather Locklear, Chris Noth, Aria
Wallace, Mike O'Malley, Caroline Rhea, Carson Kressley.
Director: Mark Rosman.
Website: Click
here.
Brought to you by MovieHole
|
