Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

Review by Clint Morris
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Knowing it is going to make money even without effort, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest could easily have turned out like the Disneyland ride it is based on: all hype, too rushed, and lacking in the razzle-dazzle one expects.

Thankfully, there’s no need to leave a long complaint letter in the ‘suggestions’ box for Walt, because the sequel is more exciting, adventurous, well performed and plot-filled than the animatronic-driven kiddie-ride of its namesake. But seriously, how hard was that feat?

Picking up where the original film left off, Dead Man’s Chest sees wacky pirate Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) teaming with swordsman Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and feisty fiancée Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) to fight the latest supernatural nasty: in this case, a hideously repulsive squid thing played by Bill Nighy.

The film then proceeds to unravel a rather multifarious, but none too exciting plot, containing some subplots as: the chase for a key that can open a box containing the heart of the film’s villain, the reunion of Will and his cursed pop, a giant monster that attacks boats, as well as expose an uncalled for spark that apparently exists between Elizabeth and the campy, Jack.

Whilst Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl was fresh, fun, fast and ferociously original, the sequel is – unfortunately – stale, dreary, sluggish and imitative. Sure, it has it’s moments – a couple of great set pieces will keep your interest – but for the most part, Dead Man’s Chest suffers too much from The Matrix curse: ambition before fun, props before plot, and it’s duration is longer than any character arc in the film. There’s just too much razzle-dazzle and not enough ‘snap, crackle and pop’ – and as a result, it just feels, well, bloated.

A lot of it has to do with Johnny Depp, too. Don’t get me wrong, he’s great, but we’ve seen this performance from him before – and he’s a guy that never repeats himself, and so the unpredictability of his performance is now, well, predictable. The writers don’t even give him as much to do here, either – his joke ratio is severely lacking, and his character isn’t really taken anywhere.

Mostly though, there’s just not enough ‘fun’, ‘heart’ and ‘swashbuckling adventure’ in here to sustain the 150-minute (!) running time. Most of it is filled with elucidation, padding, and scenes that should’ve been cut 3 minutes in, not 30 minutes in. Disney seemed to be more interested in showing off their bucks – with shamefully over-the-top and damn pricey special effects, and sets - than rely on their brilliant storytelling skills.

Having said that, Dead Man’s Chest is still a much more enjoyable film than the abovementioned Matrix sequels – think what Jewel of the Nile was to Romancing the Stone, or Bad Boys 2 was to Bad Boys, for instance - You can keep your eyes open with this one, at least, and Johnny Depp is still one of the most talented bastard’s on the planet (and Keira Knightley isn’t too hard to watch either, lads). Just a pity they couldn’t have done more with it, especially after the astoundingly fantastic first voyage, not to mention the fact that this is merely the middle chapter of a trilogy and we’re supposed to be returning next year for another Pirates adventure – a lackadaisical attitude just came into play. You never know…hopefully, they get it right for the final chapter.

Unlike the first film, the treasure chest is only quarter-way full in this Pirates.

2.5 out of 5

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
Australian release: 6th July, 2006
Cast: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Stellan Skarsgard, Naomie Harris
Director: Gore Verbinski
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