Texas Rangers
Review by By Clint Morris
 Like
a pistol full of blanks, Texas Rangers may succeed
in making a loud noise, but it makes little impact.
Directed by Steve Miner (Dawson's Creek), this bubblegum
western features some of Television's most bankable
stars - Van Der Beek, McDermott, Patrick, Kutcher and Tom
Skerrit. However, they could have easily had been replaced
by cardboard standees - sans the pearly whites - for this
old-fashion yarn about the Texas Rangers lacks any true grit
or plot.
Ten years after the civil war, Texas has become a war zone
and in the absence of any sort of law and regulation, the
Texas Rangers have been formed to wipe the smirks off any
person participating in the murderous raids occurring across
the land.
Philadelphia-born Lincoln Rogers Dunnison (Van Der Beek -
Dawsons Creek) loses his family in one such raid, and
enlists with the newly re-formed Rangers, under the command
of charismatic, tubercular ex-preacher Leander McNelly (Dylan
McDermott), who lost his family to war and knows his days
are numbered. Banded and bonding, the gunslingers are trained
to pursue ruthless bandit John King Fisher (Molina) and his
army of ruthless thugs.
The main setback with Texas Rangers is that it's template.
There may be a host of familiar faces straddled up on the
horses here, but not one of the characters on screen has any
redeemable quality or is written well enough to sustain any
kind of connection with the audience.
As for the villain, Molina is intolerably out of place as
a Southern-yabbering bad brute and appears in such few scenes
we don't get to ascertain any of his motives anyway. Equally
out of his depth is Van Der Beek, who might look the part,
coming across as if he is still playing his TV persona spending
an afternoon with Pacey, Joey and company making a home video
style western shoot-em up.
Not for a second do we swallow that he is tough, brash, or
someone who could even last as a western renegade. McDermott's
character, supposedly the veteran authority figure and leader
of the pack, is so underwritten you'll forget who he is actually
playing - and what of his preacher background?
Spare a thought for some of the other performers - Kutcher,
Leigh-Cook, Skerrit and Patrick - who've only got a few succinct,
underwritten scenes. For the genre, it is way too short. Accounting
for the number of characters they have, and the complications
they would be going through, this movie might have succeeded
had it been stretched out even half an hour longer.
If there is a script for Texas Rangers I'd like to
see it, because what's on screen doesn't seem to have any
sort of stratagem. You'd be forgiven to think it's a TV station
promo with some of the series headliners dressed up in cowboy
gear and playing with guns all in the name of promotion.
Unlike some other genres, the 'western' seems to be going
downhill. In recent times, movie studios have convinced themselves
that if they cast a bunch of pretty faces and yank up the
oestrogen vocab, they have a sure-fire hit.
Additionally, films like Texas Rangers further stipulates
that two-bit TV stars should stick with their medium, as should
small-screen directors, unless something really enticing can
pull them away from their day-job.
2 out of 5
Texas Rangers
Australian release: Thursday May 16th
Cast: James Van Der Beek, Dylan McDermott, Ashton Kutcher,
Randy Travis, Usher Raymond, Rachel Leigh Cook, Robert Patrick,
Alfred Molina.
Director: Steve Miner.
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