Lara Croft: Tomb Raider - The Cradle of Life

Review by Clint Morris

If only the rumours suggesting Angelina Jolie had no interest in the sequel she's now appearing in were true, we might have all been saved...

At one stage, she too, apparently shared the sentiment of the audience who had no aspirations of seeing a sequel to videogame-cum-film Tomb Raider, regardless of how much money the first film pocketed.

But alas, the film studio won out in the end, somehow enticing Jolie back and, remarkably, attracting a normally impressive lot of supporting players for embarrassing support parts. It's amazing what the colour green can do.

But judging by the poor takings in the states, will those who've carefully avoided this dire franchise have the last laugh?

For the unversed, Tomb Raider features the buxom Jolie in the lead role of computer game heroine, Lara Croft, a perfect-looking specimen, whose somewhat of a woman's equal to "Indiana Jones", always on the hunt for lost artifacts or precious jewels. This time, she's out to find Pandora's Box.

If Tomb Raider were all about getting a good perv, this would be a champ.

From the film's first minutes, we're treated to Jolie in a skin-tight wetsuit [peekaboo!], wearing a black-bra while riding a jet-Ski, and ultimately getting about in soaking wet shorts. For what its worth, Jolie's easy to watch. Unfortunately, the film in which she's been placed in isn't.

The Tomb Raider series could have been pretty exciting stuff - good action sequences, epic locations, lots of spirit - but they don't seem to be interested in any of that.

Instead, playing out not unlike an introduction probably would on the CD-ROM of which the game is based. The characters are one-dimensional, the story non-existent, and the entertainment factor so low you'll be flat out keeping the eyelids up, even with toothpicks.

Compared to the first film, the sequel has a little bit more plot to it - but that's like comparing one stale packet of chips to the other. They're both unappealing, despite which one might be staler than the other.

And poor Gerard Butler. The man once rumoured to be such hot commodity [following a stint in Dracula 2000] that he was being courted to be the next 007, has made a grave mistake here by agreeing to play sidekick.

He's got nothing to work with here at all, instead coming off as a clownish clown of every action-hero he's been forced to rip off here. And that buzz cut is just embarrassing.

It looks like director Jan de Bont has decided to dress him up to look like Keanu Reeves, who helped ride de Bont to victory with Speed [1994], but unlike that exciting popcorn blockbuster, this one's tyres were flat even before production started.

1.5 out of 5

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider - The Cradle of Life
Australian release: Thursday September 25th
Cast: Angelina Jolie, Gerard Butler, Noah Taylor, Ciarán Hinds, Djimon Hounsou, Til Schweiger, Christopher Barrie, Simon Yam, Terence Yin.
Director: Jan De Bont.
Website: Click here

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