Uptown Girls
Review by Clint Morris
 “He’s
a rock and roll poet sex god”, is how Australian actor
Jesse Spencer is described in Uptown Girls.
If that way-off comment – he’s young dorky Billy
Kennedy from “Neighbours” for crying out loud! –
isn’t enough to put you off, the rest of the lifeless
dealings of said film is.
To Spencer’s merit, he’s okay in the role of a
rock star wannabe who uses, abuses and later makes up with
the abovementioned Molly, but Australian audiences will be
best equipped with a barf bag come the young chap’s first
treacly appearance.
To his gain, most of the films blame lives with comedienne
Brittany Murphy and wee sidekick Dakota Fanning, who –
unfortunately for them – occupy near every frame of the
clunky film’s 93 minutes.
Molly Gunn [Brittany Murphy] is an off-kilter young hatchling.
She lives by herself – her parents [one of them a former
rock god], died in an accident - in a cheerfully tinted Upper
East Side penthouse that's filled with her dad's guitar collection
and a mountain of owing bills.
When Molly discovers her accountant has taken her for a ride,
and she’s been left without a penny, her friends hook
her up with a job. Unluckily for the very unpaternal Gunn
its child-minding a spoilt 8 year old [Dakota Fanning] - and
wouldn’t you know it, the young lass is eons more grown-up
than her minder. Looks like a couple of girls have some self-altering
to do...
As good as the nonconforming, somewhat amiable Murphy –
who was quite enjoyable in the comedy Just Married
– can be, and young Fanning – always a delight –
can be, the script they’re forced to work with in Boaz
Yakin’s film is just ominous.
It’s more forced than a jammed fridge. And it makes
them look utterly calamitous. Nothing about the proceedings
on hand ring true, intrigue or play plausibly.
Some of the female members of the audience might get a bit
soggy eyed in some of the film’s – again, forced
– spots, but for the most part even they will be wondering
why on earth they just dished out money to see something so
run-of-the-mill and alas, mind-numbing, once the film’s
couldn’t-come-sooner credits start to roll.
2 out of 5
Uptown Girls
Australian release: Thursday November 20th
Cast: Brittany Murphy, Dakota Fanning, Marley Shelton, Donald
Faison, Jesse Spencer.
Director: Boaz Yakin.
Website: Click
here
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