Exclusive: Backstage Pass - ARIAS 2006

By The Shambles
Check out clips at The Official Shambles MySpace
Click Here For A Complete List of Aria Winners

It was touch and go for several years at the Arias. The Logies was the big potato of awards ceremonies, with the People's Choice coming in a close second - leaving the Australian Recording Industry Awards (ARIAs) waddling along like a duck that had been repeatedly run over by a Volvo owner.

However in the last few years, Australian music acts have dominated the entertainment scene. From the explosive success of The Vines, Jet and now Wolfmother - the Arias is now one of the biggest and most star studded events of the Australian calender year. 

In it's 20th year, the Australian music scene had never been more healthy. Wolfmother had taken the U.S. by storm, Youth Group's Forever Young had become an anthem for a legion of O.C. fans, The Veronicas were hot property across the globe and Bernard Fanning had cemented himself as one of the most gifted homegrown talents in the industry. The 2006 Awards were set to be one of the most star studded events in Arias history

Except for three nominees from the suburbs of Melbourne...

Somehow the three lads from The Shambles, a sketch show on Community TV, were lucky enough to score a nomination for Best Comedy Release - and thus allowing Web Wombat an insight into the backstage antics of a star studded awards ceremony from the vantage points of three young blokes from the suburbs of Melbourne.

The Shambles Day at the Logies:

11:15am
The boys arrive at Sydney Airport early Sunday morning, all hung over from the preceding Saturday night, still queasy from one of the shakiest plane landings since John Denver took flight.

12:00pm
Arriving at their hotel, a call from their label informs them that they have less than 45 minutes to be ready to be picked up and taken to the pre-ordained meeting place at Sydney's Novotel. A quick lunch from a nearby cafe is hastily consumed as the boys try and find their already misplaced hotel key.

1:00pm
The taxi arrives fifteen minutes later than expected, which is perfect, as Sos is still trying to find his left shoe.

1:50pm
The Shambles arrive at the Novotel across from Acer Arena. This is where all the nominees and guests must meet prior to getting into their limos which will take them to the red carpet. Commence drinking.

2:07pm
The cavalcade of stars in that one room is astounding. From Eskimo Joe, Shannon Noll, Mick Molloy, Glenn Robbins and even media magnate James Packer. One explosion in this room would ultimately leave only Daryl Somers to control the entire entertainment industry. Thankfully there are no sign of terrorists, no sign of Mr. Somers and...oh look, Bernard Fanning just walked in.

3:27pm
Drinking continues. Sos is casually sitting at the balcony table when from seemingly nowhere, teen heartthrob Jesse McCarntney pops his head into the conversation and asks for a light. Leigh Harding looks suitably grumpy at the table across from us.

4:07pm
Finish drinks, quickly take a toilet break as we get the call that our limo has arrived.  As we stand out the front waiting for the taxi to pull up, the cast of Boytown stand behind and begin to chat about their weary promotional schedule. Genuinely good blokes.

4:11pm
The limo slowly rolls up to the beginning of the red carpet. Fans are squashed against the railing all trying to get a glimpse inside the tinted windows. We step out of the car to a burst of cheers and applause (mostly because rockers Grinspoon are standing in front of us). 

We begin to walk down the red carpet past a throng of camera flashes, A-Grade celebs, D-Grade celebs, Z-Grade celebs...and us. We accidentally bump into one of the ever-so-petite Veronicas and they kindly oblige a photo (as seen above). We all officially have a crush on them. 

We continue walking, narrowly missing out on walking directly in front of Channel V's Yumi doing an intro to camera, past Paul Mac (above) and The Young Divas. Just as we approach the end of the carpet, several shouts of "Shambles!" are heard. We go and meet some local Sydney viewers who for some stupid reason ask for autographs. Worthless to them, but heaps of fun for us.

4:25pm
Get off the red carpet. We are all just dumbfounded about what has just happened. It is easily the most bizarre experience anyone can ever have (besides being used as a knitting needle by a giant spider, which in fairness, would also be rather bizarre). Head straight for the bar.

5:00pm
Continue drinking and try to take it all in. We stand outside in the smokers area where Phil from Grinspoon makes his entrance wearing a completely white suit and peroxided hair. We feel very much like we are out of place: we just ain't rock'n'roll!

5:30pm
We walk towards our table which is for some reason only 3 rows back from the stage. We walk past the Idol table, past the Boytown table and even past Lee Kernaghan. Dave Hughes is sitting front row centre and looks at us oddly (like he was thinking "Security!!") - we quickly keep walking to our table as we prepare for the filming of the event to begin. A round of beers is promptly delivered to the table.

7:20pm
There is a break in proceedings for a dinner break. Already we had seen live performances from Eskimo Joe, Wolfmother and The Veronicas - as well as seeing Johnny Knoxville stumble onto stage with a bottles of Chivas stuffed down the back of his pants. Again, bizarre times.

7:45pm
We head back out into the foyer to relieve ourselves of two hours of free booze. Joel Turner and The Modern Day Poets decide to do an impromptu beat boxing performance in the urinals, to a sea of gob smacked musicians. The guitarist from Grinspoon seems less than impressed. We head out of the toilets to again ask ourselves "What the hell just happened then?".

On the way back to our seats we bump into a variety of stars that are quite happy to chat with us. Andrew G comments on Lynchy's Teen Wolf  t-shirt and we begin to discuss Micheal J. Fox, while Valvo makes good on a $50 bet and gets a photo with Marcia Hines.
As we head back down to our table we bump into another Melbourne boy, indie artist Gotye, who is a favourite of ours. He is genuinely quite a happy and well mannered guy - his song is even played over the loud speakers during one of the breaks which we all get quite excited about.

TV and radio's newest stars Hamish and Andy take a break from their hosting duties to sit back at their table with the Boytown crew. We, of course, interrupt their meal. They are quite happy to chat and even mention they have seen parts of the show (which is not bad considering even we don't get Channel 31 on our TV's).

8:10pm
We head back to our seats as the show re-commences with Human Nature taking the stage.

8:27pm
Our award finally comes up. Hamish and Andy, ironically, are presenting it (as they to came from Channel 31 less than three years ago). We had already discussed prior to the announcement with our fellow nominee, Fox FM's Matt Tilley, that Lano & Woodley were a shoe in. And not surprisingly, they took the award home, which they more than deserve.

9:11pm
The awards come to a close, with the three of us standing towards the back as we try and take in the stunning performance by Silverchair. It's officially time to schmooze.

9:16pm
We head towards the after party. Bacardi are sponsoring the event, and there are assorted drinks lined up in bulk along table (with lids already taken off and straws placed in them awaiting to be consumed).

From there the night is somewhat of a blur. It was simply a series of bizarre moments. From dancing to Put You Hands Up For Detroit with Casey Donavon, to watching Idol's James Mathison put on an impressive DJ set, to talking all things Logies with Angela Bishop and discussing all things music with Steve from Channel V.

4:46am
Tired and emotional, we decide it's time to head back into the city for some McDonald's. Most people have already left for home or for other parties leaving only us, Big Brother 2006 Winner Jamie and Toby from Youth Group trying to get a maxi taxi. For almost an hour we tried, eventually deciding to split into two cabs as we accepted that a Maxi Cab may never arrive.

6:30am
We arrive back at our hotel and await Jamie's cab. We then realise we (not being Sydney locals) had accidentally given them the wrong street address. We head back up to our hotel room (not before raiding the vending machine outside of several packets of Doritos) and all crash into a heap.

10:20am
Realising we have less than 40 minutes to check out of the hotel, we all slowly begin to roll out of bed. Bacardi hangovers.

2:15pm
After trying to catch some sleep in the boarding lounge, we board our flight back to Melbourne. There is talk of the night before, there is talk of yet another terrible Sydney taxi driver who tried to explain to us that we only need small hotel rooms as "They are for sleeping, Not for Dancing", and of course - a dodgy plane landing.

4:00pm
Arrive home, drop bags and collapse into bed. Best-Weekend-Ever.

Valvo with Idol's Andrew G	The Shambles talk crap with Fox's Hamish and Andy
Best Comedy Nominee Matt Tilley with the boys	Eskimo Joe's Kav Temperley talks Red Wine
Lynchy with veteran crooner Kahmal	Dicko tells Lynchy to "Shed some Pounds"
Country singer Lee Kernaghan	One of the funniest men of the night, Idol's John Foreman