The Vines - The Best Of (2008)

By Steph Maker

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In the interests of objectivity in journalism and bollocks like that, I’m going to put something out there right now: my love for The Vines verges on the obscene. It really does.

Despite this, I’m quite angry at The Vines right now. Smarmy bastards thinking they’ve been around long enough to be putting out 'Best Of' collections.

That’s just silliness and no one is impressed by it at all.

The songs on "The Best Of" span the years of 2002-2006. Even though they’ve been a pretty freakin’ glorious four years, it remains the same that FOUR YEARS is nowhere near a long enough timeframe to warrant producing any kind of Best Of.

Message to The Vines: What if in the next five years your career takes a serious turn and somehow you get even better...What if!

If this is the case they may seriously regret having put out the early years shit under the misnomer 'Best Of' - when it really should be noted as "The Early Years" or "The Last Ditch Effort To Make Some Cash Before We Break The Band Up".

If we’re going to be brutally honest, we know in our hearts that The Vines aren’t going to get any better. This is probably one of the big issues with garage rock music. A lot of its goodness comes from the fact that it’s basically rubbish. Just think about how Jack White complained about Meg when she finally learnt how to play the drums.

My major beef is that it’s just too soon for The Vines to be putting out a best of. I’m sure they could have at least pushed it out til you hit the decade mark. 

Oh, that’s right, says the cynic within me, Craig Nicholls will be dead by then. He’s not dead now is he? Is that why this little record has surfaced? He’s dead isn’t he?

As such I’m left to assume that The Vines have put out a "Best Of" to catch all the little turds that are going to see them at Splendour but are too lame to have familiarised themselves with the band properly.

As such, I suggest you turn to the coming mix tape suggestion, brilliantly entitled: "Steph Maker’s "The Vines" for Kids That Aren’t Wankers"

1. Get Free
2. Highly Evolved
3. Don’t Go
4. Ms Jackson
5. Fuck The World
6. Ride
7. Hot Leather
8. Factory
9. Animal Machine

Let's see which one sells better!

RATING: 3.5 out of 5

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