Dead or Alive: Ultimate : Games : Web Wombat

Oh well, I'm gonna keep on typing, and no one, not even the editor can stop or even edit me. Why? Because I'm dating his daughter [You'll die a grisly death - Ed].

Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, the baps. Well, one of the reasons why the original Dead or Alive game was such a talking point (and incidentally a very popular game) was that it involved what may have been the first pair of unrealistically bouncing breasts.

"Amazing!" You cry while browsing another window with more Russian porn than Hugh Hefner has seen in his entire lifetime, "That's incredible William. What other awesomely crap facts have you got for me tonight?"

Funny you should ask, I got plenty. Did you know there's more seals and sea lions on planet Earth than there are humans? Head for the hills, we're doomed!

But getting back to the game in question, and the original Dead or Alive was popular back in the mid-to-late 90s at the arcades because it was an accomplished fighting game, and also because the majority of gamers are male and we like boobs.

So, with all the bosomy talk out of the way, let's look at this new game. It's called Dead or Alive Ultimate, and includes two DVD ROM discs, the original Dead or Alive adapted from the Sega Saturn in 1997 and the more recent Dead or Alive 2, and by now most people will realise that the value quotient is looking good.

Both these games are pretty in-depth one-on-one fighters, where two contestants belt the living daylights out of each other until one falls ungraciously to the floor. Simple, brutal, yet ultimately enjoyable. In addition to the one-on-one biffo, there's tag-team fighting as well, and if you're really good you can combine two players during a 'tag' and pull off powerful and very cool-looking 'double team' moves.

One of the best assets of the original game was its high-resolution graphics ("I can believe they're silicon/e!"), and underneath all the CGI babe controversy was a very playable fighting game, with enough combos, counters and grapples to please most.

All this has returned in the Ultimate collection, and while the original hasn't stood the test of time without incurring a few scars, the remastered Dead or Alive 2 version gets the lion's share of the upgrades - it has more options, plays better and looks sensational. The high-res, high-poly graphics really are quite impressive.

"No really, I did step in cat poo - smell!"

In addition to 15 characters plucked from the DoA universe, the slightly perkier graphics (thanks to a new game engine), new story cut-scenes, interactive environments, not to mention the addition of a few new swimsuit cossies for the ladies (two in three women prefer fist fighting in bikinis you know), there's also online play.

This is a big deal for many, and with good reason. Instead of having to look at or even befriend a human competitor, you can just go online and let rip with a selection of Chinese snap kicks to the head of a complete stranger.

This is a very good feature for more than one reason, as anyone who's played a fighting game, whether the venerable Street Fighter 2, Virtua Fighter, Soul Calibur or Tekken series, will know that sparring with CPU opponents gets boring.

Sure, they'll put up a good fight, and they do exactly that in this game, DoA: Ultimate, but if you're a die-hard fight fan you'll learn their patterns and know how to react to certain moves after a time, or simply pin them down with the repetition.

A human opponent, however, brings a level of creativity and unpredictability that AI scripts can't even begin to fathom. That said, AI scripts are lines of code, so they can't fathom anything really. Yet…

In addition to the offline options, such as story mode, survival, versus and so forth, the online game modes comprise of quick match and optimatch modes.

You and up to seven other individuals can loiter in the 'lobby' and setup matches to your liking, and it was at this point in time that the online options made me think: "This is really cool and--Holy police brutality coupons! There's a posse of seals with AK 47s!?!"

You can tweak the game's setup in a number of areas, but the best feature when playing online is the social aspect. When two players go the tonk, the other six (or less) from the lobby can spectate on the fight, fiddle with the camera angle and chat to each other, swap recipes, and even regale one another with tales of 'when animals attack'.

Example: One minute you're spectating on MaFia_69's flawed combination attacks against the superior skills of Sycho_Seal, and the next minute MaFia_69 is wickedly teasing you with his sublime blocking ability in the next round. Suffice it say, you feel very humiliated and proceed to boot MaFia_69 because you hosted. Ha.

The game runs quite smoothly online, even when there are other dudes chatting away, and loading times are kept to an absolute minimum. I gotta say it, online fighting is tip top. Nice work Tecmo!

This isn't to say those without an Xbox Live account and a broadband connection should avoid the game - it represents good value based on its gameplay merits - it's just that the online aspect improves the game even more, adding longevity and a sense of community.

With Dead or Alive's proven fighting system that's easy to pick up play, with all the bonus features, including the surprisingly fun (and blocky looking) original game, the Dead or Alive Ultimate pack is a fighting fans dream come true, and has plenty of mainstream appeal too. *bounce-bounce*

Game: Dead or Alive: Ultimate
System: Xbox
Players: 1-4
Online: Yes
Developer: Tecmo
Distributor: Microsoft

Rating: 85%

(Ratings Key/Explanation)

Dead or Alive: Ultimate is on the shelves now.

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