Fallout 3: Censored For Your Viewing Pleasure

By William Barker

In 1992 all the cool kids wore happy pants. They were very trendy at the time, and the joy these garments delivered to wearers and onlookers alike was palpable.

These 'happy pants' were often seen with vivid patterns and lurid fluorescent colours. Then one day... they were gone.

The same tragic fate that met these courageous trousers almost happened to Fallout 3 in Australia.

Simply put, Fallout 3 is looking like one of the best RPGs ever made. 

Think of it as like a sci-fi version of Elder Scrolls Oblivion where you don't have to follow any rigid path or direction and can do what you want, when you want. 

It's the kind of game that gamers have wet dreams about.

Like the happy pants phenomenon, Fallout 3 was the most anticipated products in several years, and then the Classification Board whose name was changed from the OFLC (Orifice of Film and Literature Condemnation), decided to ban it. Thanks Reg. You're a right bastard.

But wait... What's that in the distance... Respect for the Australian games industry?! 

Fallout 3's creators, Bethesda Game Studios, created a 'toned down' version so as not to offend the tender eyes and ears of the half-dozen geriatric hard-liners at the Classification Board, and come October 31st 2008, we'll get to play the game.

The violence has been toned down in the "child-friendly" Australian version - because clearly in the eyes of the government drop kicks, all gamers are children - but the essence of the game will be unchanged.

The year is... I don't know what year the game is set in because my researcher, Neville, was attacked by a large sewer rodent and he's in remission.

Well, it is the future in Fallout 3, as you climb out of a bunker into the wasteland of Washington DC, which appears to be ravaged by a nuclear fallout.

You can play the game from either first- or third-person perspectives, and as I said before it's like a futuristic version of Elder Scrolls Oblivion. 

Climb out of your vault, which is where you were born and shielded from the cruel harshness of reality, and like all really clever games you can go almost anywhere you want and do almost anything (as long as it involves moving and shooting). 

Want to see what remains of the Potomac river? Go for a trek and find out. Want to sit in El Presidente's chair and smoke a cigar? Give it a go. Want to throw cans of food at mutant humanoids? Be my guest.

After decades hidden away in protected vault, while the surface of the Earth was poisoned with radioactive isotopes from the nuclear conflagration, the flora and fauna has been mutated and on your travels you'll encounter all manner of hideous beasts.

Like all good RPGs, the more killing you do, the more experience you'll get and you can spend these points on a large variety of skills and perks, from the handling of various types of weapons and armour to the ability to heal and use medicines more effectively.

You use the Pip Boy, which is an oversized wrist-watch of sorts, to monitor you status, view your character traits and basically do all your statistical analysis and number crunching.

The game plays like most first-person shooters: walk around, shoot things, pick up health items, marvel at the desolation, solve a few riddles, complete a handful of quests.

Graphically the game is looking very polished, and the Xbox 360 and PS3 versions look good in high definition. 

There's a dusty, grimy, rather downtrodden feel to the game that permeates the visual style, and helps immerse you in this particular vision of the future. 

But Fallout 3 delivers not only gorgeous graphics and the cool RPG aspects of forming your own unique gun-toting madman (or mad woman). There's more...

Let me introduce you to the Vault-Tech Assisted Targeting System (VATS).

This splendid little system allows you to queue up attacks and then unleash them on your foetid enemies, all in ultra-sexy happy pants-style cinematic glory.

VATS allows you to basically stop time and then individually target different parts of you enemies, such as the head, legs, arms, torso, crotch, etc.

When you resume play, you get a mega wicked cut-scene that usually involves fatalities, exploding heads, and other amusing but fictional (and potentially censored in Australia) occurrences.

Whether using long range fire arms or hand-to-hand bludgeoning weapons, the game shows off its excellent eye-candy and cool camera angles when the VATS system is activated, and the ensuing cut scenes are also very gory - a tip of the hat to the previous Fallout games.

However, using the VATS is not something you can do whenever you like. 

You need action points to initiate the system, and in some cases these can run out very quickly so you need to be judicious with your use of the system.

So, there's open-ended gameplay, slow-mo ultra-gore kills, RPG character leveling, a huge array of weapons and equipment with which to experiment on angry super mutants, sweaty people and crafty slavers within the massive wasteland of Washington DC. And all the while there's a sinister plot going on in background... 

And no sign of the Vengabus...

Bethesda has also ensured that there's a smattering of humour in there, as has been the tradition with previous Fallout games, but we'll judge that when we play the final game. 

There's a fine line between humour and stupidity, as we all know.

Thus far Fallout 3 is looking like every bit the blockbuster game its billed as, and is already one of the most anticipated games of the upcoming Christmas season; expect it to dominate the sales charts when it launches.

The game is due out later in October, 2008, and Vlatko Andonov, president of Bethesda Softworks, sounded pumped: "We are very excited to let gamers get their hands on Fallout 3, the latest chapter in this beloved and highly acclaimed franchise.

"To meet the huge demand for this title by our fans worldwide, we are planning one of the biggest launches of any game released this year," said Andonov, who may or may not have supernatural powers.

Given an MA15+ rating by the Australian Classification Board, Fallout 3 is looking very spicy, and could be our generation's happy pants: controversial but cool. We can only hope...

Game: Fallout 3
System: PC, PS3, Xbox 360
Players: 1
Online: Maybe
Developer: Bethesda Game Studios
Distributor: Red Ant