Britney Spears

By Ines Mendoza

Ever wondered why childhood and teen stars become drug-addled mental cases that eventually end up in jail? We were wondering the same thing. 

In fact, the chances of finding yourself a child star that hasn't travelled down "Corey Feldman Lane" and then taken a right hand turn down "Robert Downey Jnr Avenue" is, well, about as likely as finding a fan of Star Trek that isn't a virgin. 

It just doesn't happen. 

And despite what many suggested would never happen, everyone's favourite pop princess Britney Spears travelled down these very roads. 

None the less, she still deserves to be remembered - so let us delve into the life and times of Ms Spears.

Born on December 2, 1981 - Britney Jean Spears has gone from simple country girl, to Mousketeer to Mega-Million Dollar Pop Star to Public joke. 

All this in under 30 years!

Best known for songs such as Baby One More Time and Oops!… I Did It Again, along with the numerous high-profile advertising deals and endorsements (including Pepsi), and her forays into film and reality television. 

And, of course, we can't forget her most infamous turns of late - with husband/ex husband/douche K-Fed (Kevin Federline) and the whole 'head shaving' thing. Someone's got some issues...

Now while I may be taking the Mickey...Mouse Club (I couldn't resist)...out of Spears, it should be noted that the girl has sold over 76 million albums worldwide, having sold 31 million albums in the U.S. alone. 

That not only makes her one of the best-selling female artists of all time, it also makes her very rich. Which proves that money can't buy happiness, only poor haircuts.

She also is responsible for spawning a new musical era in which audiences consisted mostly of tween and teen girls (you know, the little children who try their best to look like teenage prostitutes because of dubious advertising ethics). 

But how did it all come to this?

At the age of 8, Spears attended NYC's Professional Performing Arts School for three seasons and performed in 1991's Ruthless! and other off-Broadway productions. 

By the time she was 11, Brit joined the The New Mickey Mouse Club where she was featured from 1991-93 (with future soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend, Justin Timberlake). In the show she appeared in various sketches and musical videos which mostly displayed her comedic and singing abilities. 

But in 1999, a solo career beckoned and young Brit was the dominate force on the pop scene for almost half a decade.

This amazing success even led to Brit trying her luck on the big screen, in 2002's Crossroads. Despite raking in over $60 million world wide (with a budget of just only $12 million) the flick was considered a bomb. It was from here that things started to turn sour for Spears new found fame.

In 2003, she made headlines after showing up at a movie premiere with bad boy Colin Farrell (she and Justin had a public breakup, with rumors circulating that she had cheated on him) and later kissing Madonna at the MTV Video Music Awards during a performance of Like A Virgin/Hollywood.

On September 18, 2004, it was back to the altar for Britney after a shot-gun wedding ceremony with long time friend Jason Alexander in Las Vegas. Mumsy put an end to that one quick-smart...

News broke that Britney and boyfriend Kevin Federline (a former backup dancer of hers) had tied the knot in a "surprise wedding," and that Brit did indeed get Kevin to sign a pre-nup. In 2005, she gave birth to her first baby boy, and in 2006, she gave birth to her second son.

Several "Texan Yokel" moments later (including driving with her child on her lap) and a bevy of tabloid stories relating to her weight gain, Britney finally snapped and divorced the world's biggest fool - Kevin Federline - and went out partying. 

While most celebs try and shy away from the paparazzi, Britney was more than keen to show off her "New Body" - mostly the private parts - with her "new friend" Paris Hilton.

Finally, Britney made waves in the media after she checked into rehab for one night on February 16, 2007 -- only to check out the next day, walk into a salon and shave off all her hair. Why did she do this? We don't know, but having camera lenses poked up your nose could be a contributing factor.

In later developments, the mother of two has been deemed by the American justice system as 'unfit' to take care of her two children who are currently in the custody of their father, Kevin Federline, while Britney must undergo weekly drug tests. 

Where Britney goes from here remains a mystery. Has the greater public been harsh on Ms Spears? We demanded more coverage, expected more nuttiness, and we got it! But does the cute little Texan deserve such ill will?

She may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, and this has probably caused her to make some regrettable decisions, but surely even Britney deserves some alone time. We know Britney Spears is a big fan of the Lifestyle Channel so, Britney, if you're reading, try laying low in Scandinavia for a bit. The biting cold can be healing.

The seventh album has been released (including greatest hits and an EP), aptly named after her mental state, "Blackout", but is it a case of too little, too late"? Has the damage been done? 

We can only wait and see. She'll either end up feeling good about her latest album and get back on the road to recovery, or end up in a straight jacket eating left over sandwiches from city bins.